AN: I miss Sidney.
Things between me and Sidney have gone from friendly to awkward. At least from my point of view. After that night, he tried calling me but I kept rejecting. How can I talk to him again? I mean, I cried in front of him. This will not end well.
-I just wanna run to you and, break of the chains and throw them away.-
And soon enough, he stopped calling. I admit, I'm kinda sad. I was kinda half hoping that he wouldn't give up on me. That he would keep calling and calling and texting, leaving message after message on my voice mail. But I've always been a dreamer, always expecting something fairy tale like to happen. There is no happy endings in this lonely world because if there is, everyone single man alive would be taken by some gorgeous blonde.
-I just wanna be so much, and shake of the dust that turned me to rust.-
Or brunette. What is with Sidney that makes me feel this way? I'm familiar with the feeling but I refuse to accept it. I mean, it can't happen. I've gone through this before, the whole I'm falling head over heels kind of thing. It's a great feeling for a little while then reality kicks in and next thing you know, you're on your bathroom floor, crying your heart out and cursing the slut your boyfriend decided to have sex with. And cursing you boyfriend too. Haven't I learned my mistake? Fuck. This. Can't. Be. Happening.
-Sooner than later, I need a savior. I need a savior.-
I was in my bedroom looking outside, thinking about everything. When I heard a three, quick knocks on my front door. I was not in the mood for some company today, I was to busy sulking about what happened. I have decided against answering it. Probably my next door neighbor asking for some sugar again. She can find another person to ask for some sugar today. After three minutes, the person was still knocking. Actually, banging. I don't want my door to break, so I dragged my fat ass out my bed to answer the door. Muttering, "I'm coming" and hitting my pinky toe against a chair on the way, I have finally made it to my front door.
-Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small.-
"Christ, Bella. Are you okay? I've tried calling but you wouldn't answer. Are you okay?" "What are you doing here, Sidney?" I answered. I was shocked. Did I ever give him my adress? I swear I didn't. That night at the party had been such a blur, that I can't remember anything. "You're not answering my question. Are you okay?" He asks again, "How do I look like to you? Do I look okay?" I said back. I know it sounded a bit harsh, but I did not expect him to be here, in my apartment. "You look fine." He finally said. "Then I'm fine." I muttered. "Why the fuck are you so pissed? I mean I was so worried about you, so I came here. Just to find you so bitter. Did I do something wrong?" He asked. I can tell he's getting mad now. The look of concern was gone from his face and was replaced by a game face. But in those eyes of his, I can tell he was starting to get frustrated. I can't blame him. But like the bitch I am, I continue on..."You're not my boyfriend Sidney. We had a few dates, but we're not together. And If I were you, I would leave. Now." "No." He said. What? "Excuse me?" I retorted. Clearly shocked. Normally this would have done it. He would've left and probably never talk to me again. At least with normal guys, it was this way. But then again from my experience, Sidney is not really the ordinary 23 year old guy. At least, not to me. He really does care, I think. Probably not anymore. "I said, no. I'm not leaving until you give me decent explanation as to why you're acting so...Bitchy." He said. I'm getting annoyed now. "Don't you understand? I don't really wanna be with anyone right now. Not you, not my mother, not my friends. No one. I would much like to be alone. And besides who the fuck do you think you are?"
-Free my hands and feet.-
He was stepping closer to me and saying at the same time in calm, low voice, "No, I don't understand. I don't care if you don't wanna be with anyone right now, all I care about is you being with me and me being with you. Do you understand that? And right now, I'm thinking I'm the one who's going to save you from this hell hole you've created around yourself." And then he kissed me, just like that. Just grabbed my face and kissed me. And I couldn't find it in myself to push him away but instead I put my hands in his soft, curly hair and kiss him back. I was melting.
-And maybe I won't always fall, save me.-