Anyone want to it check out? I want you guys to tell me if I should continue it. Of course this story is still my priority. The other story just kind of came together. I've been working on it for some time now. So please, opinions and comments will be greatly appreciated!
What Hurts The Most
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Chapter Ten
The kiss felt electric. It sent little static shocks all over me, from my finger tips to my toes. It felt amazing. I swear, I was going to melt. My knees were weakening and I was loosing my hold to the ground. The only thing supporting me was his hands on my waist. His hands on my body. Amazing.
When he pulled away, the fire from his eyes were gone. I was smiling and so was he. This is not good, I know it isn't. Still, this one felt different from all the others. Sparks fly and I see fireworks and stars. When he smiles, my heart does a little thu-thump-thump, and we touch, I feel as if I was electrified and that kiss, that kiss was like being shocked by lightning.
"Don't you understand, I'm kind of falling in love with you." He whispered.
Oh no. "No, you can't. I can't. Because if you do and I do, we're going to get hurt. One of us will get hurt." I said to him. I needed to be the rational one here.
"Well I guess, we'll just have to see, huh?" He said, unmoved by my very practical response.I smiled, maybe this isn't a bad thing. He was right though, maybe just maybe, I should just let my feelings free. Maybe I should fall in love and move on. Maybe I should forget about what Owen did and get on with the present. This is what I need. This could be healthy for me. And what if it doesn't work out? My mind asks, so what? my heart answers back. "So what?" I whisper very quietly. "What?" Sidney asks. Oops. "Nothing, nothing." I say back, quickly.
"You're a challenge, Bella. One of the hardest I've ever had."
"So, you give up?" I asked.
"No, I don't. Because giving up is loosing. I hate loosing." He chuckled to himself.
"I know." I muttered.
"Good, so will you just give up this act your trying to put up? It's not going to work you know."
"I know." I said again.
He stepped closer again and I know what's going to happen next. It was going to happen again and I was more that ready for it. Truth be told, I was still feeling something from when we last kissed and I couldn't wait to feel it again. It felt nice. So very nice.
Our lips touched, more gentle this time. Like he was scared that I was going to pull away and reject him. Like, I was fragile and should be handled with care like i'm one of the most beautiful china pieces he's ever seen. And maybe I was, I hope I was. If If I was to surrender to Sidney Crosby and just let it be, I should be prepared for anything that can happen. Good or bad.
Owen was terrible, heart breaking mistake. But that mistake is in the past now, something I need to let go off so I can move on and be happy with my life. Maybe Sidney can teach me that, he can teach me how to be happy and be grateful for what I have like he does.
This time I was the one to pull away. Not that I wanted to, because i'd much rather kiss him and just keep on kissing him. But I needed to talk to him.
"If I..." searching for the right words to say, "was to surrender to you. Will you promise me something?"
"Surrender?" He asked. I can tell, he finds my choice of words amusing.
"Yes, surrender...To you."
"What do I have to promise you?"
"Promise me, that you won't cheat on me. And if things don't work out between us, promise me, that you will instead be my friend." I told him.
"If you do surrender," mimicking the way I said the word, "I promise not to cheat on you, and if we we ever break up, I promise to be your best friend."
"I surrender." I smiled.
And the kiss went on...
When he pulled away, the fire from his eyes were gone. I was smiling and so was he. This is not good, I know it isn't. Still, this one felt different from all the others. Sparks fly and I see fireworks and stars. When he smiles, my heart does a little thu-thump-thump, and we touch, I feel as if I was electrified and that kiss, that kiss was like being shocked by lightning.
"Don't you understand, I'm kind of falling in love with you." He whispered.
Oh no. "No, you can't. I can't. Because if you do and I do, we're going to get hurt. One of us will get hurt." I said to him. I needed to be the rational one here.
"Well I guess, we'll just have to see, huh?" He said, unmoved by my very practical response.I smiled, maybe this isn't a bad thing. He was right though, maybe just maybe, I should just let my feelings free. Maybe I should fall in love and move on. Maybe I should forget about what Owen did and get on with the present. This is what I need. This could be healthy for me. And what if it doesn't work out? My mind asks, so what? my heart answers back. "So what?" I whisper very quietly. "What?" Sidney asks. Oops. "Nothing, nothing." I say back, quickly.
"You're a challenge, Bella. One of the hardest I've ever had."
"So, you give up?" I asked.
"No, I don't. Because giving up is loosing. I hate loosing." He chuckled to himself.
"I know." I muttered.
"Good, so will you just give up this act your trying to put up? It's not going to work you know."
"I know." I said again.
He stepped closer again and I know what's going to happen next. It was going to happen again and I was more that ready for it. Truth be told, I was still feeling something from when we last kissed and I couldn't wait to feel it again. It felt nice. So very nice.
Our lips touched, more gentle this time. Like he was scared that I was going to pull away and reject him. Like, I was fragile and should be handled with care like i'm one of the most beautiful china pieces he's ever seen. And maybe I was, I hope I was. If If I was to surrender to Sidney Crosby and just let it be, I should be prepared for anything that can happen. Good or bad.
Owen was terrible, heart breaking mistake. But that mistake is in the past now, something I need to let go off so I can move on and be happy with my life. Maybe Sidney can teach me that, he can teach me how to be happy and be grateful for what I have like he does.
This time I was the one to pull away. Not that I wanted to, because i'd much rather kiss him and just keep on kissing him. But I needed to talk to him.
"If I..." searching for the right words to say, "was to surrender to you. Will you promise me something?"
"Surrender?" He asked. I can tell, he finds my choice of words amusing.
"Yes, surrender...To you."
"What do I have to promise you?"
"Promise me, that you won't cheat on me. And if things don't work out between us, promise me, that you will instead be my friend." I told him.
"If you do surrender," mimicking the way I said the word, "I promise not to cheat on you, and if we we ever break up, I promise to be your best friend."
"I surrender." I smiled.
And the kiss went on...
Chapter Nine
AN: I miss Sidney.
Things between me and Sidney have gone from friendly to awkward. At least from my point of view. After that night, he tried calling me but I kept rejecting. How can I talk to him again? I mean, I cried in front of him. This will not end well.
-I just wanna run to you and, break of the chains and throw them away.-
And soon enough, he stopped calling. I admit, I'm kinda sad. I was kinda half hoping that he wouldn't give up on me. That he would keep calling and calling and texting, leaving message after message on my voice mail. But I've always been a dreamer, always expecting something fairy tale like to happen. There is no happy endings in this lonely world because if there is, everyone single man alive would be taken by some gorgeous blonde.
-I just wanna be so much, and shake of the dust that turned me to rust.-
Or brunette. What is with Sidney that makes me feel this way? I'm familiar with the feeling but I refuse to accept it. I mean, it can't happen. I've gone through this before, the whole I'm falling head over heels kind of thing. It's a great feeling for a little while then reality kicks in and next thing you know, you're on your bathroom floor, crying your heart out and cursing the slut your boyfriend decided to have sex with. And cursing you boyfriend too. Haven't I learned my mistake? Fuck. This. Can't. Be. Happening.
-Sooner than later, I need a savior. I need a savior.-
I was in my bedroom looking outside, thinking about everything. When I heard a three, quick knocks on my front door. I was not in the mood for some company today, I was to busy sulking about what happened. I have decided against answering it. Probably my next door neighbor asking for some sugar again. She can find another person to ask for some sugar today. After three minutes, the person was still knocking. Actually, banging. I don't want my door to break, so I dragged my fat ass out my bed to answer the door. Muttering, "I'm coming" and hitting my pinky toe against a chair on the way, I have finally made it to my front door.
-Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small.-
"Christ, Bella. Are you okay? I've tried calling but you wouldn't answer. Are you okay?" "What are you doing here, Sidney?" I answered. I was shocked. Did I ever give him my adress? I swear I didn't. That night at the party had been such a blur, that I can't remember anything. "You're not answering my question. Are you okay?" He asks again, "How do I look like to you? Do I look okay?" I said back. I know it sounded a bit harsh, but I did not expect him to be here, in my apartment. "You look fine." He finally said. "Then I'm fine." I muttered. "Why the fuck are you so pissed? I mean I was so worried about you, so I came here. Just to find you so bitter. Did I do something wrong?" He asked. I can tell he's getting mad now. The look of concern was gone from his face and was replaced by a game face. But in those eyes of his, I can tell he was starting to get frustrated. I can't blame him. But like the bitch I am, I continue on..."You're not my boyfriend Sidney. We had a few dates, but we're not together. And If I were you, I would leave. Now." "No." He said. What? "Excuse me?" I retorted. Clearly shocked. Normally this would have done it. He would've left and probably never talk to me again. At least with normal guys, it was this way. But then again from my experience, Sidney is not really the ordinary 23 year old guy. At least, not to me. He really does care, I think. Probably not anymore. "I said, no. I'm not leaving until you give me decent explanation as to why you're acting so...Bitchy." He said. I'm getting annoyed now. "Don't you understand? I don't really wanna be with anyone right now. Not you, not my mother, not my friends. No one. I would much like to be alone. And besides who the fuck do you think you are?"
-Free my hands and feet.-
He was stepping closer to me and saying at the same time in calm, low voice, "No, I don't understand. I don't care if you don't wanna be with anyone right now, all I care about is you being with me and me being with you. Do you understand that? And right now, I'm thinking I'm the one who's going to save you from this hell hole you've created around yourself." And then he kissed me, just like that. Just grabbed my face and kissed me. And I couldn't find it in myself to push him away but instead I put my hands in his soft, curly hair and kiss him back. I was melting.
-And maybe I won't always fall, save me.-
Things between me and Sidney have gone from friendly to awkward. At least from my point of view. After that night, he tried calling me but I kept rejecting. How can I talk to him again? I mean, I cried in front of him. This will not end well.
-I just wanna run to you and, break of the chains and throw them away.-
And soon enough, he stopped calling. I admit, I'm kinda sad. I was kinda half hoping that he wouldn't give up on me. That he would keep calling and calling and texting, leaving message after message on my voice mail. But I've always been a dreamer, always expecting something fairy tale like to happen. There is no happy endings in this lonely world because if there is, everyone single man alive would be taken by some gorgeous blonde.
-I just wanna be so much, and shake of the dust that turned me to rust.-
Or brunette. What is with Sidney that makes me feel this way? I'm familiar with the feeling but I refuse to accept it. I mean, it can't happen. I've gone through this before, the whole I'm falling head over heels kind of thing. It's a great feeling for a little while then reality kicks in and next thing you know, you're on your bathroom floor, crying your heart out and cursing the slut your boyfriend decided to have sex with. And cursing you boyfriend too. Haven't I learned my mistake? Fuck. This. Can't. Be. Happening.
-Sooner than later, I need a savior. I need a savior.-
I was in my bedroom looking outside, thinking about everything. When I heard a three, quick knocks on my front door. I was not in the mood for some company today, I was to busy sulking about what happened. I have decided against answering it. Probably my next door neighbor asking for some sugar again. She can find another person to ask for some sugar today. After three minutes, the person was still knocking. Actually, banging. I don't want my door to break, so I dragged my fat ass out my bed to answer the door. Muttering, "I'm coming" and hitting my pinky toe against a chair on the way, I have finally made it to my front door.
-Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small.-
"Christ, Bella. Are you okay? I've tried calling but you wouldn't answer. Are you okay?" "What are you doing here, Sidney?" I answered. I was shocked. Did I ever give him my adress? I swear I didn't. That night at the party had been such a blur, that I can't remember anything. "You're not answering my question. Are you okay?" He asks again, "How do I look like to you? Do I look okay?" I said back. I know it sounded a bit harsh, but I did not expect him to be here, in my apartment. "You look fine." He finally said. "Then I'm fine." I muttered. "Why the fuck are you so pissed? I mean I was so worried about you, so I came here. Just to find you so bitter. Did I do something wrong?" He asked. I can tell he's getting mad now. The look of concern was gone from his face and was replaced by a game face. But in those eyes of his, I can tell he was starting to get frustrated. I can't blame him. But like the bitch I am, I continue on..."You're not my boyfriend Sidney. We had a few dates, but we're not together. And If I were you, I would leave. Now." "No." He said. What? "Excuse me?" I retorted. Clearly shocked. Normally this would have done it. He would've left and probably never talk to me again. At least with normal guys, it was this way. But then again from my experience, Sidney is not really the ordinary 23 year old guy. At least, not to me. He really does care, I think. Probably not anymore. "I said, no. I'm not leaving until you give me decent explanation as to why you're acting so...Bitchy." He said. I'm getting annoyed now. "Don't you understand? I don't really wanna be with anyone right now. Not you, not my mother, not my friends. No one. I would much like to be alone. And besides who the fuck do you think you are?"
-Free my hands and feet.-
He was stepping closer to me and saying at the same time in calm, low voice, "No, I don't understand. I don't care if you don't wanna be with anyone right now, all I care about is you being with me and me being with you. Do you understand that? And right now, I'm thinking I'm the one who's going to save you from this hell hole you've created around yourself." And then he kissed me, just like that. Just grabbed my face and kissed me. And I couldn't find it in myself to push him away but instead I put my hands in his soft, curly hair and kiss him back. I was melting.
-And maybe I won't always fall, save me.-
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